Reflections
by Ambience
Summary: Ha. I usually hate CCS, but I like Meilin. This was from SOO long ago. Re-post. Killed my other account.


Disclaimer: Not miney-mine. Nopedy-nope-nope!  
  
A/N Kays ppl. Review. * growls * Okay. Enjoy.I hope?  
  
The dagger shone dimly, flames reflected from the fireplace danced within the glinting silver. I held it up to the light.  
  
The dagger. It was perfect. I turned it over in my hands, trying to find flaw, but finding none. Perfect- like love, I thought. And love was what forced me to do this.  
  
I cannot see what he saw in Sakura, that he did not see in me. What made him leave me for her, why he hates me so; I cannot see.  
  
Tomorrow was my birthday. Tomorrow I would no longer be in existence. The corners of my lips curve upwards in a small smile. I am not sorry to go. There is nothing left for me anyway. My mother and father are in heaven, and I would be joining them soon enough.  
  
The old grandfather clock downstairs tolled suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. Taking out a sheet of scented lavender stationary and a purple ink pen, I wrote a short letter to anyone who might care to read it.  
  
Li, Sakura, anyone who might read this: I am sorry if I cause anyone any pain by leaving, though I highly doubt anyone may be pained. But there is nothing left for me here. I may find joy in another world. Someday, maybe, I shall see you again. Until then, farewell.  
  
I put the pen back in the beautifully carved mahogany-colored wood desk, leaving the letter on top of the desk. Walking into the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror. Ruby eyes stared back at me.  
  
Stepping out of my customary school uniform, I take a long, refreshing shower. The warm water showering down onto my head felt like a mother's gentle caress on my skin, chilled from the winter air. Turning off the water, I step out, and put on a simple white dress.  
  
I walked slowly down the creaky old stairs, the skirts swirling around my ankles. On the couch, a small white cat purred as I pet it. Picking it up, I planted a small kiss on its small, perfect velvet nose, and whispered softly, so only it could hear, "Bye Milkshake." Giving it one last pat, I walked back upstairs.  
  
Placing surefooted steps, I walked quickly into my room, carefully picked up the ornate dagger, and went into the bathroom again. I did not particularly like the prospect of cutting my wrists, but I wasn't about to use poison, and even the thought of a gun makes me shiver.  
  
My right hand holding the dagger, I gently traced the large vein in my wrist with the razor sharp edge. The dagger is sharp; I had sharpened it myself this morning.  
  
A bright red line of blood wells up. Red flecks dot the snow-white marble of the bathroom sink. But do I care? It is not my bathroom, not my sink, which is flecked with blood. It's the Li clan's. Li's family. Not mine. There is nothing is this world which I own. My throat is dry, so my laugh, harsh. Nothing, but myself.  
  
The other wrist, I slash quickly, and the blood spills angrily out from the deep wound. Only my harsh training from childhood stopped me from crying out at the pain. The clock downstairs tolled. It was midnight. The tolls echoed around the empty house eerily. Once, Twice, Three times, Four, Five Six.  
  
Blood continued to spill out of my wrists. The sink was pooling with red now.  
  
Downstairs, the clock continued to toll. Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten. My head swam with blood loss. I began to feel dizzy, and crumpled to the ground. The blood continued to flow, spotting my white gown.  
  
Eleven tolls, Twelve. The clock fell silent. My head drooped, my long raven- black hair spilled over my shoulders, covering my face. These ruby red eyes wouldn't open again in this world. This is how they found me. Long lashes resting gently on my cheek, hair splayed around me, and a small smile on my face.  
  
Then, it was as if a hundred cars' headlights were shining into my eyes. I struggled to open my eyelids, but they were surprisingly heavy. When my eyes finally decided to obey my mind's commands, and opened a crack, bright, white light flooded in, blinding me. I stood, unsteadily, but a moment later, felt no aches. My wrists were whole and unscarred. My gown was no longer damp with blood. Flexing my back muscles, I discovered snowy white wings streaming out behind me. Madison would have loved to design Sakura a costume with wings like these, I thought, but strangely did not feel any hatred or jealousy toward them like usual.  
  
I turned with a swirl of skirts and saw my own body, lying on the bathroom floor. I did not linger long. I had to find my parents, my family. With one last glance at myself, lying on the floor, I spread my wings and floated through the roof.  
  
Outside, the chilly wind whistled through trees and the moon shone bright, down upon the people on earth. I was no longer one of them.  
  
"Good bye Li, Sakura, Madison! See you!" I called into the distance, thinking somehow they would hear me. And with another beat of snowy white wings, the wind carried me up, up into the cloudless sky. To my parents. To my family. To heaven.  
  
A/N Yays! Now review! 


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